Arranged Marriages
In one region of South West India, most of the marriages are arranged by the family. The bride and groom have a say in this; they both should approve. This is how it is done nowadays. The parents and other family members consider the family status of each other other, and proceed with the formalities. The horoscopes are verified by the astrologer, and if it is a good match the bride’s parents are asked to go for a second opinion from another astrologer, whom they trust. Both the parents or families visit each other and confirm the proposal. This is a social way of evaluating each other. If the girl’s family is slightly lesser in financial status, it is all the more better. The wife shouldn’t show her superior financial status on her husband’s household. The complex, superiority or inferiority, do exist, mostly in every body’s mind, or in their behavior.
Then comes the engagement ceremony, which is an official confirmation and a public announcement, confidential hitherto. After lighting the lamp, at the auspicious time the horoscopes are tied together by the elders and handed over to the bridegroom’s father. This is a silent declaration that the marriage vow is irrevocable. Traditionally it is the men folks, the elders who are invited to the engagement, function and all of them bless the horoscopes tied together.
The invitation cards are selected and printed, with the addresses of both the parties clearly mentioned. Both the boy and girl start communicating with each other, their telephones are busy all the time, and mobile phone bills climb up to record level. Every one in their families pretends not to notice, this blooming romance. All the relatives enjoy watching the blooming romance, in silent approval. The list is prepared, the invitation cards are distributed among all the known relatives, neihbours and friends. The house gets a new coat of paint. The rooms are decorated, with new curtains.
Their faces are lit with happiness!
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